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[03 Oct 2009|10:59am]
“Today is the effin day”
Was the thing she woke up to.
Today was the day of a beautiful ceremony.
They spoke in French.
They spoke in English.
They stumbled through love songs
And housey songs,
Who’s got the crack?

She spent time in the shower and in the closet
And smoked marbroe-rye.
She feels ough ough ough
Sitting in the corner,
Tip tip tapping.

They are fucked up.
Did they eat any of that cake?
Yes, so ough ough ough.
“I’m not gonna hit you”
Stop, please don’t , she doesn’t trust you.

Except, she believes in their powers,
Their powers of love.
Because they’re the winners
And every day is the effin’ day.
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[28 Sep 2009|09:30am]
[ mood | anxious ]

Cornfields and Chapstick

cornfields creep me out
my brothers and I used to play in cornfields,
them mostly playing, me mostly screaming
my brothers left me in a maze for three hours
it was a mirror maze
I love mazes, but I love mirrors more
I prefer it when people talk to each other’s reflections in mirrors
I’m not good at talking, but I am at thinking
a friend told me to,
“stop thinking,
get out of your fucking head”
I haven’t stopped thinking about it
I haven’t stopped putting on chapstick
since you told me my lips were dry
I hardly ever have dry mouth
I like to stay hydrated or else I’ll faint
I fainted once on the streets of California
are there cornfields in California?

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[11 Jun 2009|12:14pm]
hah, jokes on me, just kidding.

why can't i be 25 and have a bakery by now?

seriously. seriously?

things that would also be better at 25:

long hair, red hair, done with school, all of my books in my current library read, more books bought, more stories written, stories finished, maybe in love, too, maybe no more smoking, i sound like scarlett playing waits.

i'm always hungry.
2 comments|post comment

[30 May 2009|06:44pm]
life is sooo working right now.
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[22 Mar 2009|06:07pm]
come on moodshift shift back to good again.
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[17 Dec 2008|07:46pm]
it's the time of year:

what's your favorite cookie?


would you rather have a favorite giant cupcake?
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[03 Dec 2008|11:39pm]
i wish i could write academic papers.
i wish i didn't have to take my poetry final.
i wish gmail would erase emails that i shouldn't look at for me because i can't erase them myself because i still want to look at them every now and then but i shouldn't because it makes me upset.
i wish matt didn't suck so badly or have really bad luck that makes him suck; he was supposed to move in tuesday, but now i don't know when he'll be here or if it's a good idea, is it? is it guys? am i just lonely living alone?
i wish i didn't kinda hate work and all the people that worked there except i don't really hate them, they just have annoying tendencies that make me want to either rip out their laughing abilities, tape over their eyes, put a battery up their ass to make them move faster, etc.
i fucking hate my shower at this apartment.
i wish work scheduled me around my television shows.
my brain is mashed potatoes or cake batter or cream cheese frosting.
i rule at cupckaes.
why does writing an academic paper always make me want to write an lj post, too?
i want my friend back.
i want to not have to wear tennies and khaki to work.

seriously, tia, stop bitching.

i need to develope photos and send a tedious email, except probably not the latter because that would probably be bad, but, really, who cares? just jump.
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[24 Nov 2008|10:19am]
[ mood | frazzled ]

“if you can find a way to write the poem where you are not merely defending or justifying yourself but “get all the parts of” what torments you down—pursue its lineaments till you have reached what seems its core, and can make its ‘core visible’—in short, you can make a work of art that ‘stands on its own feet’ and isn’t still partly stuck in you, tied to you by an umbilical cord—it has a chance of performing one of the ancient function of art, catharsis.” --frank bidart.

shit. i've got some work to do because as of now i have so many babies clinging to my limbs, and by babies i mean writing projects.

i'm 20.

my iBitch is alive again. she keeps tricking me.

i work every single day and i hate it; i don't hate the job, but i'm just so tense and school needs to be over with and matt needs to move in because i need milk and toilet paper but i don't have time to go shopping. actually, i have to get ready for work right now.

i fail at poetry. and at succeeding in a timely manner. my father's adhd and my mother's tele addiction has doomed me.

i just wanna go to nola and be drunk with corrine, hopefully we end up sleeping on some stranger's stoop.

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[05 Nov 2008|07:42pm]
[ mood | busy, fucking papers. ]

seriously, writing is so much fun. except when it is for academic purposes. i love my memoir so much!

i thank diana for my small interest in politics; i actually watched the news last night until i figured out Cabin Fever was on scifi, then i changed it.

the other night i cooked dinner and dessert for eddie's film shoot and it was pretty fun. i got paid $2 for my time. my snickerdoodle pie is stunning and i will forever bake my peanut butter cookies with crunchy peanut butter.

matt is moving in in a little less than a month and i'm pretty stoked. i miss him and i hate orlando and i'm starting to feel lonely on nights where there isn't any good tv on and i'm running out of money so soon i will either have to get a job and not go away on weekends or just not go away on weekends. i need a sugadaddy.

nola for new years, hell yes.

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[31 Oct 2008|05:25pm]
[ mood | weird ]

I love you and miss you!!! And can’t wait to see you….have a great Halloween…and think of your aunt Peggy and smile……this was her favorite holiday! Have a great week too!

gee thanks, mom. that didn't really make me smile. it's been 5 months since she died. sometimes i have dreams with her in them and it creeps me out because she never used to be in my dreams and now i feel like she's in every one i remember when i wake up.

i wish halloween was on a weekday so i could stay home and watch all the great scary movies that are on every channel, but i'm going to go out and be Elliot Reed. i look so weird with straight hair.

house of wax starring paris hilton is on right now. yes.

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